Dear reader,
Usually I sit down at my dining room table every Wednesday morning and write you something that has been on my mind. Some weeks the words flow out of my mind like an avalanche and others it feels like molasses. I enjoy the process all the same despite the internal ease or resistance I may be feeling.
The world feels heavy this week.
And yet, after months of feeling like I was dragging my feet through the mud, I feel light.
Last week, I woke up one day and just decided to make a change. I knew things were not working so I tried something new. And it has felt really good. I’ve done things that have been on my to-do list all year (like build a new website from scratch). I am finally reaching out to people I haven’t seen in months. I feel like I have more energy, inspiration, and motivation and yet, I am continuing to push myself to scale back.
I think I’m going to start by scaling back my emails. I used to only send one once a month and that felt like too little. But every week sometimes feels like too much. So I am going to play with every other week. I want to give you space to digest what I am offering you. And I want to give myself space to get inspired.
I believe in the cadence and rhythm as a writer but I also believe that you need to create the space to be inspired. You need to live life – to have something to write about. You need to let things settle. To allow yourself to feel the weight of the world without always needing to push through and produce something.
There’s also an eclipse coming up on Saturday and I have a feeling we are all feeling it one way or another. There is so much I could touch on and yet I am at a loss for what to say.
So I am giving myself space.
Space to go inward.
Space to process.
Space to grieve the lives I thought I was going to live.
Space to be with the people I love most.
Space to remember what it means to be human.
We don’t always have the capacity to show up in the way we’d like. Sometimes we are at a loss for words, or a loss of energy, or a loss of understanding of what it means to be human. So before the loss consumes me, I give myself space.
I didn’t think I’d write anything this week but I felt it was necessary for me to write something. If you are hurting this week, from the world or from anything else, I encourage you to take a moment for yourself. And even when the inspiration returns, it is okay to save some of that for yourself instead of pouring it straight into whatever project is next on your to-do list.
I love you and I’ll see you soon
xo, Nikki
This essay from
My friend Emily is hosting this journaling workshop on 10/26 in Brooklyn!
This song feels like a warm hug for me, maybe it will for you too.
One of my favorite astro podcasts that I try to listen to at the top of every week!
Love you so much <3