THE BEST OF THIS YEAR

Something a little more worthwhile than another gift guide or round up of all of my favorite things that no one asked for.

When I sat down to write this newsletter, I had planned to share a full round up of all of the food, books, media, music, etc. that I had consumed in 2024, and loved. I started sifting through my photos, playlists, Goodreads, and saved folder on Substack. After accumulating more than 50 links, I started feeling insecure – what makes my opinions any better than anyone else’s? Are these recommendations necessary, or just something I am sharing to feel interesting, worthwhile, or a part of all of the constant noise on the internet? Is this what I want to be contributing to the internet?

I spent the better half of this year in battle with myself trying to find the balance between creating and consuming. I fell in and out of mindless spirals of consumption, slurping media up as if I hadn’t had anything to quench my thirst in years. More more more, my mind would say. Less less less, my soul yearned for. While my years of disordered eating are, thankfully, long behind me, I still find addictive tendencies in the way I engage with the online world – social media, streaming services, dating apps, any place I can find a quick hit of dopamine. As much as I try to be mindful and intentional with the way I consume, I find myself slipping into mindless territory more often than I would like to admit. 

Even with the months long break from Instagram, picking up hobbies that don’t involve a screen, and filling my IRL life with stimulating activities to keep my mind engaged and alive (not disassociating and melting into an abyss), I can’t find my way out of the labyrinth of consumerism. I can’t get away from the gift guides, influencers, and external forces infiltrating my mind; all of the things that are making me believe that the life I am living right now will not be enough unless I have one more thing. 

When I share a list of the 15 best books I read this year, or my favorite albums, or the best spots I visited while in Maine, am I contributing to a system that makes others feel like they need to be doing more or am I simply sharing something solely for the love of it? It’s a blurry line. And I don’t think I need to figure out where I, or my content, stands but as someone who shares these things regularly, it feels important to question my contribution to the noise rather than simply adding to it because everyone around me is.  

While I have many opinions about what you should gift to your best friend, the books that should be on your list for 2025, and the places to eat when you visit Mexico City, I am not going to include them in today’s newsletter. (Unless you really want to know… then email me directly) Instead, I am going to process WHY I love creating round ups in the first place, how I use them to give meaning to an experience, reflect on my year, and get to know myself more deeply. 

One of the biggest reasons why I enjoy making a whole long list of my favorite things is because it serves as a metaphorical time capsule. I started journaling when I was 13 because I was afraid that one day I would forget all of the magical and mundane moments of my life. From my first kiss to the first time living away from my parents, journaling has always been a way for me to accumulate all of my memories to one day look back on. After a trip, season, or year, it is cathartic to go through my camera roll and pinned places to see what created the greatest impact in my life. I reminisce on the characters that came in and out of my life, am reminded of small moments that fell between the cracks of my mind, and take inventory of all of the things I liked, and didn’t

PRACTICE: THINK BACK TO EACH MONTH OF THIS YEAR, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? PLACE YOU VISITED? SONG YOU HAD ON REPEAT? CREATE A TIME CAPSULE OF 2024 THROUGH THE THINGS YOU DID, HOW YOU SPENT YOUR TIME, WHO YOU SPENT YOUR TIME WITH, WHAT YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT, ETC.

A time capsule not only creates a snapshot of this time in your life, but it serves as rich information to dig deeper about where you’re at in life, who you are, and who you are becoming. I learned a lot this year – about myself, about friendship, about work, about love, about being an adult. When I think about the books I read, or the music I hyper fixated on (Charli, I’m looking at you) this year, I don’t just see a book or an album but I see something that changed the core of who I am. Reading The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control in January prompted a 6 month process of unraveling my perfectionism, starting Landscapes encouraged a more disciplined writing practice, listening to hours of hyperpop brought me joy, connected me to my body, and reminded me that I’m only 26 and don’t need to take my life so seriously. The things I loved this year serve as anchors for the life I lived in the past 365 days. Years from now, I can return to these things and immediately be transported back to this time in my life. To reminisce, but also to clearly see how I continue to grow as life unfolds. It is both a marker of time and a tool beneath the surface of where you have been, where you are, and where you are going. 

It is easy for me to get stuck in a dazy, nostalgic dreamland thinking about all of the ups and downs of this year, but no matter how hard I try to resist, life continues to move forward. Even in seasons when it feels like I am back at square one, more unclear about my future than ever, I remember that time and space always continues on. I can either ruminate on the past, or use it as fuel to inspire how I move forward in life. When I look at my year as a whole, I see countless experiences that shape who I am today and can inform who I will be tomorrow. As I begin to reflect and orient myself in the middle of my experience, I see the things that are working, what needs to change, and where my energy is naturally flowing or feeling forced. Making a list of all the things I love, or even have an aversion towards, allows me to open up a portal into my mind shedding light on what might open up for me as I continue to travel forward in space and time.

PRACTICE: WHAT IMPACTED YOU THE MOST THIS YEAR? WHAT WERE MAJOR THEMES OF YOUR LIFE AND WHAT EXPERIENCES PROMPTED THEM? WHAT HAS WORKED FOR YOU THIS YEAR? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND IN 2024?

There is still a part of me that is tempted to leave you with a highly curated list of all of the things I loved this year or share other essays on the topics like this "not a gift guide" from my friend

Sandy Sanchez

or this essay on how gift guides are ruining everything. Because the truth is, I love gift guides and round ups of favorite things. I love peeking into someone’s brain to see their favorite things, the things they give value, and the things that I might not have come across otherwise. It’s fun and sweet and wholesome and there is a part of me that eats it up. But at this time of year, there is also a part of me that feels addicted to finding the best of the best because I want to be seen as the best of the best. I want to consume everyone else’s tastes and share mine with the world to prove that they are better. This thought isn’t conscious, of course, I just want to share the things I love, but when I dig deeper…it goes back to the people pleasing and perfectionism and all of the endless feelings of not being good enough that I have been trying to unravel all year.

In my process, moments like this are turning points. They are an opportunity for me to choose the same as I always do, and continue to play out the narrative that I am not good enough, or to choose differently and write a new narrative for myself. Instead of sharing a list of my favorite things with the subconscious belief that this list is proving to the world that I am cool enough, I offer a different invitation. An invitation to take or leave whatever I, or anyone, has to say. An invitation to connect with yourself – to make your own gift guide, round up, or whatever creates the space for you to slow down and look at what the heck is happening in your life. Time and space never stops moving but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have to. Without reflection, it will be more challenging to move forward in your life with intention. 

With all of the noise pulling you in every direction this time of year, I hope you can find a moment, or two, to connect back to your breath and the life force energy flowing throughout your body. Remind yourself that you do not need to buy something just because it is on sale, sometimes the most thoughtful gifts are not bought, and it is not necessary to share everything you loved this year just because it makes you feel cool, interesting, and worthwhile. Sometimes things are better kept for yourself, ready for whenever anyone asks you for a new book to read, course to take, or album to listen to. I think part of growing up is realizing that even though you may want to share an opinion, it is not always needed or wanted. 

PRACTICE: CLOSE YOUR EYES, TAKE A BREATH, FEEL INTO YOUR BODY. WHAT IF EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE WAS PERFECT AS IS? WHAT IF YOU WERE PERFECTLY ON TIME? WHAT WOULD LIFE FEEL LIKE IF YOU KNEW THAT NOTHING WAS MISSING?

This is part one of an end of the year series to help you wrap up the year and move forward into the new year with clarity and intention. Subscribe for more journaling prompts, visioning guides, and more!

(And if you really want to check out another gift guide, I adore this one from my friend

Piera Luisa Gelardi

)