You know those people in your life that you have an instant connection with? Those that time seems to disappear and no one else matters except the two of you? Is there ever a time when that feeling isn’t reciprocal?
I’ve often thought about this in terms of those friends that could have turned into lovers, partners, or something more but life always seemed to get in the way of the connection blossoming into anything more than just friends.
I think about those people in my life that I loved the second I met.
The ones that seemed to see me more clearly than anyone else had up until that point.
I think about those people who I remember thinking, “wow, I think I could really love them one day.”
I am lucky to have experienced these types of connections more than once in my life.
Friends I grew up with.
Strangers I met one time and never again.
People still in my life to this day.
But the timing never seems to align.
There’s always an obstacle – a partner, distance, mismatched desires.
There’s always a small part of my heart that will always hold out for these “what ifs” in my life.
The hopeless romantic in me wants to believe that maybe one day, things will work out. With one of them. With all of them. And my only hope is that I haven’t already missed my chance.
But then, I wonder, do they feel the same about me?
Do they, too, feel the wave of ease that washes over me when we are together?
Do they, too, wonder what it would be like to explore the depth of this connection?
Do they, too, feel something different with me than they do with others?
Maybe it’s just me.
But maybe this lifetime isn’t for us to explore.
Maybe it’s a reminder of a past love or one that has yet to come to fruition.
Maybe this connection is simply meant to stay as it is – a beautiful reminder of stars colliding and two souls crossing paths reminding each other that they are exactly where they are meant to be.
I’ve been thinking a lot about connection lately.
I’ve been thinking of the blurred edges between platonic and romantic and everywhere in between. In my own personal exploration of what I am desiring within the relationships throughout my life, I have questioned that line and wondered where the difference comes in?