An Invitation to Slow Down
Instead of scheduling moments of stillness, what if you turned your life into a moving meditation?
To listen while you read…
I recently had a dear friend reply to my voice message with an email. This email was not short and sweet or straight to the point. It was long, thoughtful, and took time (and care) to write. It was an invitation to slow down – an invitation to savor the words that had been written to me rather than slurp them up as quickly as I can to reply by my next breath.
This friend and I talk often about the exhausting pace of living in an online world and the actions we can take to slow down our consumption in order to give our minds a moment to absorb everything we are taking in. We go back and forth between the desire to share our inner worlds online and the necessity to take a step back and stop the cycle of fast paced consumption. This email reply was an effort to not only think about this with social media but with all phone usage.
He wrote to me,
“I've been going through a lot (as you know) and taking a pause from fast-paced communication (e.g. Instagram) has been helpful (I think?), and I've also been wondering how this can apply to texting and my phone use in general—I'm trying to slow down the dopamine flow—so it feels really nice to write to you this way.”
It felt really nice to receive in that way.
As I reflect on the pace of life that I want to live, and the things that need to change in order to find a slower pace in the midst of one of the fastest moving cities, I often forget the impact of the way I engage with my daily tasks.
Sure, I can meditate more and carve out time to slow down when planning out my weeks. But what’s the use if I am inhaling my meals, replying immediately to every text and email, and never looking away from my phone for long enough to make eye contact with a stranger? Instead of planning the stillness and slowing down into my day, what if I allowed my life to become a moving meditation?
This thought is the basis of most Buddhist and mindfulness teachings and yet, it scares me.
It confronts the parts of me that are not ready to let go of the pleasure that is always available from the instant dopamine hit that comes from a new notification, ticking something off of your todo list as quickly as possible, or rushing to catch the Subway at the very last moment. I fear I may be addicted to those quick hits of dopamine – intentionally searching for them in every moment of my day.
This way of being – the incessant checking of my phone, the filling of my schedule with everything I think I should be doing, the need to be available at all times – is a habitation of my own mind. It is simply something that I have reinforced over time, through repeated action. When I see it that way, I see that it can change. While the entire Western society is built so that we are mindlessly addicted to the endless hits of dopamine is everything we do, I believe it will be difficult to rehabituate but it is not impossible.
💡One way that I am grounding myself into this practice is by reflecting on: “Is this giving me the opportunity to be present? Or is it taking me away from the here and now?”
I want people, practices, activities in my schedule that invite presence. I don’t want to multitask, rush from one thing to another, or feed into a lifestyle that encourages my attention being pulled in a million directions at once. Whatever I do, I want to do with intention. I want my life to become like a meditation. I want to feel like an exhale, an invitation for peace and presence, with everyone and every moment that I encounter.
I am grateful to have people in my inner circle that invite me to confront the parts of myself that I may not be ready to change. It was a welcomed invitation to slow down and be present with an email reply instead of a short text or rambling voice message that I’d listen to while multi-tasking everything left on my to-do list. It’s important to have people in your corner that not only support you to be the best version of yourself, but inspire you to do better and feel safe enough to explore the parts of yourself you may not be ready to face.
Have you ever thought to reply to a text with an email? What about a handwritten note?
What is one way that you can invite presence into something you do everyday?
What activities in your life encourage you towards deeper presence? What takes you away from it?
Where in your life are you moving fast just for the sake of getting something done? Is that necessary? What would it look and feel like to slow down and focus on one thing at a time?
What is the pace of life that feels good to you (and your nervous system)? Does that align with the pace of life that you are living? How can you reduce the distance between the two and operate at the pace that is most supportive to you right now?
Friends who inspire my practice by the way they show up to theirs :-)
“The faster you are moving, the more you are in fear. And the more you’re in fear, the more you are thinking about yourself. And the more you are thinking about yourself, the less compassion and kindness you have for others.” from this clip
I’m glad to know that I am not the only one thinking about these themes. I loved this piece from
“Everyone talks about living longer (extending horizontal time) but few talk about living deeper (expanding vertical time).”
I adore this reflection prompt from
😮💨🍅🥖 Heirloom tomato sandwiches with a TON of kewpie mayo + flaky sea salt
This is something very timely that I needed to hear as I sit here at work, listening to a webinar, checking email, and reading your lovely writing. We pride ourselves in the ability to multitask but so often I don't even remember doing something or seeing something. Thank you for the reminder to slow down and be present and intentional. Sending you a BIG hug. Love, Mom.
I remember constantly being lapped by people walking on the street in the city. lol
My head is always on a swivel, marveling. I think perhaps when we focus on paying attention, bringing our senses into our experience, we inevitably begin to slow down. At first it has to be conscious, then it sort of just becomes what it is -all of our senses move through time and we just move slower. We can't have intention without attention.