I think we share the same feeling of "giving all" to our friendships but not getting the same response.
I've struggled with this expectation of reciprocity for a long time, but then I came to the realization that this might not be the best approach to it, mainly due to the fact that people generally express themselves differently. I then started looking at it from a different angle, which is that I do give and put in a considerable amount of energy in my friendships because I do enjoy it, regardless of the outcomes.. This made me feel a bit more at peace, when dealing with the disappointments of 'friends'..
One of the things I've been learning the past few years in fact which have been somewhat transformational, is to give up the illusion of control in our lives. We tend to 'self-design' our lives to a degree that leaves no room for error or unexpected events, to the extent that we get very upset that someone cancelled a dinner or something similar.. The realization that we're in no shape or form in control of our lives, makes going through it a lot easier, let alone, when it comes to the big decisions..
This can also apply to our friendships, love lives, families, work, and all.. Each angle has its framework, but we really don't control anything.. (ok, maybe I'll write about this some day)..
Thank you so much for this thoughtful response and share! I love everything you said and definitely think it takes looking at it from a different perspective and realize we all show up in different ways. And I literally journaled about how I feel like I always need to be in control in my life...definitely something to work through. Hope you enjoy the beautiful weather today!
I've caught myself in this, too. It seems simple but we are programmed to feel like we are always supposed to be doing something!!! It's hard! Kudos to you for even having this awareness.
I think we share the same feeling of "giving all" to our friendships but not getting the same response.
I've struggled with this expectation of reciprocity for a long time, but then I came to the realization that this might not be the best approach to it, mainly due to the fact that people generally express themselves differently. I then started looking at it from a different angle, which is that I do give and put in a considerable amount of energy in my friendships because I do enjoy it, regardless of the outcomes.. This made me feel a bit more at peace, when dealing with the disappointments of 'friends'..
One of the things I've been learning the past few years in fact which have been somewhat transformational, is to give up the illusion of control in our lives. We tend to 'self-design' our lives to a degree that leaves no room for error or unexpected events, to the extent that we get very upset that someone cancelled a dinner or something similar.. The realization that we're in no shape or form in control of our lives, makes going through it a lot easier, let alone, when it comes to the big decisions..
This can also apply to our friendships, love lives, families, work, and all.. Each angle has its framework, but we really don't control anything.. (ok, maybe I'll write about this some day)..
Have a good weekend!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful response and share! I love everything you said and definitely think it takes looking at it from a different perspective and realize we all show up in different ways. And I literally journaled about how I feel like I always need to be in control in my life...definitely something to work through. Hope you enjoy the beautiful weather today!
I've caught myself in this, too. It seems simple but we are programmed to feel like we are always supposed to be doing something!!! It's hard! Kudos to you for even having this awareness.