Loved this post! Very relatable.. As long as your heart’s desires are true (which they are), you will manifest all of it :) life will open you up and it will work out. But yes, loving our shadows is such important and mindful work!!
I see a couple of things here that I resonate with... Thank you for your courage to write this..
The bit about compromises: I was uncompromising in everything in life to go towards what I wanted and that took some time to learn. In order to maintain a consistent circle of friends/lovers/close friends, I had to compromise. The question that lies ahead was: What are the things that I can compromise? Generally, we as people in our relationships we ask of two-four main things that are our 'essentials' but we are willing to compromise with other things. Otherwise, what we're asking for is literally imaginary people that don't exist.. It's a relationship problem I hear all the time from friends. "Maybe there's someone 'more perfect' for me". The truth is, there won't be. It's a hard lesson, but an essential one.
The bit about jobs and "why would anyone hire me?" I realized that after almost 10 years of thinking that I was 'special', but after countless job rejections and literally dead silence from all these job applications, I came to the realization that I might not be on TIME magazine's cover. (I told a dutch woman on a plane once that I will be on that cover, more than 10 years ago. Who knows still?). Maybe I'm not so special, but if I was, I won't be in a job. This detachment from the process, also seeing how many other 'less intelligent' people who were on top of teams and divisions, that made me realize, it's really not about skill or likability. Yes, I might not be special, but I'm good enough to be where I am. That's a compromise I'm ok with.. I'm interviewing for a new job on a weekly basis, and the level of 'pretend' that is involved in interviews makes me really hate myself haha. On the other hand, I try to keep that to a minimum in order for me not to hate the place I joined lol. So 'compromise' meets 'authenticity' at play here.
The shadows are the teachers. When we're at our best, we learn nothing. :)
This is really beautiful! Thank you for sharing your reflection. I definitely see your POV re compromising and definitely agree. I think there's a lot of nuance and there's a line of compromising your standards/boundaries/what really matters to you in order to be liked/chosen/etc but always compromise in your own expectations of yourself others. And I think "being special" is so subjective! Special, to whom?! Being on the cover of TIME mag isn't the only requisite to being special or important or successful. But I get the sentiment and think it's an important process to be able to find the ebbs and flow between really loving ourselves and knowing our worth and also being realistic. I think you have a lot to offer to this world, whether or not TIME (or any company/person) can see that :) xo
HELL YES I LOVE THIS!!!! I had that moment over the summer where I was like...”I just want to live my life.” Everything is perfect! We can use all the tools to support us but not to constantly think something needs to be fixed. I think this is amazing :)
Dec 4, 2023·edited Dec 4, 2023Liked by Nikki D'Ambrosio
A little late to this thread but I could not agree more! I went to a Marlee Grace workshop a few months back and part of their presentation was something like: "Don't improve. Just be hot." And I have clung to that ever since. I'm sick of treating myself as a work in progress. I am good enough the way I am! I don't have to improve to experience joy and do fun shit and be hot!
Loved this post! Very relatable.. As long as your heart’s desires are true (which they are), you will manifest all of it :) life will open you up and it will work out. But yes, loving our shadows is such important and mindful work!!
Sooo true! I love that. I’m so happy it resonated :)
Beautiful shadow exploration prompts ❤️
Thank you so so much! Let me know if you explore any of them 🩵
I see a couple of things here that I resonate with... Thank you for your courage to write this..
The bit about compromises: I was uncompromising in everything in life to go towards what I wanted and that took some time to learn. In order to maintain a consistent circle of friends/lovers/close friends, I had to compromise. The question that lies ahead was: What are the things that I can compromise? Generally, we as people in our relationships we ask of two-four main things that are our 'essentials' but we are willing to compromise with other things. Otherwise, what we're asking for is literally imaginary people that don't exist.. It's a relationship problem I hear all the time from friends. "Maybe there's someone 'more perfect' for me". The truth is, there won't be. It's a hard lesson, but an essential one.
The bit about jobs and "why would anyone hire me?" I realized that after almost 10 years of thinking that I was 'special', but after countless job rejections and literally dead silence from all these job applications, I came to the realization that I might not be on TIME magazine's cover. (I told a dutch woman on a plane once that I will be on that cover, more than 10 years ago. Who knows still?). Maybe I'm not so special, but if I was, I won't be in a job. This detachment from the process, also seeing how many other 'less intelligent' people who were on top of teams and divisions, that made me realize, it's really not about skill or likability. Yes, I might not be special, but I'm good enough to be where I am. That's a compromise I'm ok with.. I'm interviewing for a new job on a weekly basis, and the level of 'pretend' that is involved in interviews makes me really hate myself haha. On the other hand, I try to keep that to a minimum in order for me not to hate the place I joined lol. So 'compromise' meets 'authenticity' at play here.
The shadows are the teachers. When we're at our best, we learn nothing. :)
This is really beautiful! Thank you for sharing your reflection. I definitely see your POV re compromising and definitely agree. I think there's a lot of nuance and there's a line of compromising your standards/boundaries/what really matters to you in order to be liked/chosen/etc but always compromise in your own expectations of yourself others. And I think "being special" is so subjective! Special, to whom?! Being on the cover of TIME mag isn't the only requisite to being special or important or successful. But I get the sentiment and think it's an important process to be able to find the ebbs and flow between really loving ourselves and knowing our worth and also being realistic. I think you have a lot to offer to this world, whether or not TIME (or any company/person) can see that :) xo
HELL YES I LOVE THIS!!!! I had that moment over the summer where I was like...”I just want to live my life.” Everything is perfect! We can use all the tools to support us but not to constantly think something needs to be fixed. I think this is amazing :)
A little late to this thread but I could not agree more! I went to a Marlee Grace workshop a few months back and part of their presentation was something like: "Don't improve. Just be hot." And I have clung to that ever since. I'm sick of treating myself as a work in progress. I am good enough the way I am! I don't have to improve to experience joy and do fun shit and be hot!
I love Mar and I love that sentiment. BE HOT! That is the energy I want to bring into 2024!